Iowa (Hearts) Deutschland, Soon to be Unrequited

I just love these stories that induce hysteria in Germany... A 19 year old German citizen by the name of Christopher Mettin decided to join his Ami girlfriend back to Sioux City. They forged a driver’s license and birth certificate. His forged identity, though, was tripped up when he tried to vote.

Behaving as though they live in a far away village where nothing dramatic is supposed to happen, expect Germans to be hysterical anyway, but the apoplexy will come from the fact that he’s going to be deported and, horror of horrors, wasn’t asked for his passport when he voted as they would in Gutmensch Land. As in, the opposite of their usual datenschutz style hysteria when they discover that there are Americans who are concerned that non-citizens, inhabiting the US legally and illegally, are voting.

Of course they can go back to the old “the US justice system is so cruel and severe”. This, from a country where you can legally be held in preventative detention after you’ve finished serving your sentence in the crowbar hotel. Yeah, whatever you say, Udo.

Mettin made a false statement or claim that he was a citizen on a voter registration form, according to the indictment. The indictment also alleges on October 12, Mettin falsely represented himself to be a U.S. citizen to agents of the Department of Homeland Security.

Right before they pop a blood vessel in their eye, they might think back to the annual German-press ritual of “declaring the American Dream dead”, something that they’ve been doing for decades, as far as I can remember. Strangely enough, Christopher Mettin didn’t think so, enterprising as the zit-faced punk was.