19 July 2007

I Guess They Need It To Make Them Feel Better

They should stick to their colonic cleansing parties and various useless “race for the cure” displays of moral vanity. Hey, they’re just trying desperately to “keep it real.”

When Gareth Groves brought home his new Hummer SUV, he knew his eco-friendly neighbors disapproved. But he didn't expect this. His Hummer only lasted five days.

On Monday, two masked men were seen taking a bat to every window, knifing each tire and scratching a message into the body - "For The Environ."
Alas, the “greening” of Washington DC by resident’s of one its’ elitist, wealthy, blueblood neighborhoods: a hummer owned by a hockey shirt wearing kind of dude is vandalized in a neighborhood populated by people who are just now after ten years barely questioning the sanity of their “eco-tourism”.
He says some people who have driven by and seen the Hummer since the attack glare at him in satisfaction.

Neighbors admit they don't like gas-guzzling Hummers.
By the way, people like this disapprove of nearly everything that it’s fashionable to at any given moment. If there was a spa-treatment that could turn an idle MILF into a pitiable Andean peasant they’d be standing in line for the first time in their lives for it.

Meanwhile, Dad is pretending that he knows baseball stats, and REAL former Andean peasants are raising their children for them. They really should stick to their campaign for magical non-violent regime change in Tibet on the way to their “farms” in New England.

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