Crank up the Rationalization Engine!

And fire up the Heisenberg compensators while you’re at it! It’s time to protect the precious, vulnerable, and strategic yogurt production.

French business radio channel BFM reported, citing an unnamed source close to the matter.

'Never has Pepsi's appetite for Danone been so strong,' the channel cited its source as saying.

Yessiree, you heard that right. Rennet culture is a birthright! Not only that, corporate entities have grown emotively thirsty! Pepsi, you anthropomorphically alluring little corporate minx!